Silicone and ABS Plastic
One touch activation, three speeds, flexible head
Call me old fashioned, but I almost never watch porn while reviewing a toy. I fear it could become a conflict of interest, and I’d hate for my impression of a product to be elevated or to suffer as a result of my viewing pleasure.
So it was just dumb luck, (and today’s release of Zero Tolerance’s My Black Boss 2) that left bobble headed BOB facing off against the likes of Isiah Maxwell. You should have seen Bob, all smug and actually WINKING as he perched on my DVD’s case, Sliquid and Nobu Tiki not far off.
BOB is short for “Battery Operated Boyfriend.” That, combined with the aforementioned winking and over-the-top selfie strewn packaging sets him up as an obvious gag gift. I expect Bob will work the bachelorette party circuit, and later the divorcee circuit. He’s not a toy I see many women purchasing for themselves.
A woman who does purchase Bob for herself will likely possess one or more of the following qualities:
- A sense of humor. She will crave Bob because Bob makes her smile.
- A love of all things cute. She will Instagram Bob, possibly with cats.
- A familiarity with Screaming O. She trusts that even a jokey Screaming O toy will have value, because that’s the company’s reputation.
- A preference for wands. She’s attracted to a broad, easy to hold clitoral stimulator and always has an eye out for the next new flexible head.
Personally, I chose Bob for every reason above, minus the cat thing. He’s different, he’s fun, he’s Screaming O, I heart clitoral stimulation, and I may or may not have a thing for toys with personalities.
It’s hard to say if Bob benefitted or suffered from his collaboration with men much larger and more powerful. On one hand, I think we all felt pretty ridiculous when I dripped lube onto his happy, bald head in the presence of penile greatness. On the other, I could have achieved some level of success with five minutes and my pinky finger while watching Isiah Maxwell give head.
In the end, I believe the following facts to be fair and unbiased:
- Bob proves he is not just for giggles in featuring three levels of vibration and one pulsation function.
- His head is the right kind of soft and smooth, but a bit too flexible for me. I like a man who goes for what he wants. You know what I’m talking about, Isiah Maxwell.
- He has one button and its on his back. That’s convenient. And fun, somehow. Why is that fun?
- He’s a teensy bit noisy. The vibrations themselves are actually relatively quiet, but the button shakes in its shell and emits a rattling sound when my finger isn’t on it.
- He’s poweful-ish. He gets the job done with zero frustration, but my socks are not knocked off.
Basically, Bob is the perfect Christmas gift/party favor/friend’s first vibrator/Instagram buddy. Not only is his witty presentation a guaranteed hit, the afterparty should surpass expectations. Unlike sudoku toilet paper and candy birth control pills, he’ll actually get a lot of use. Your friend will thank you, and if you’re lucky, tag you in her Instagram photo.