Family and Porn

Does your family know you write and produce porn?

Todd, 37, VA

Dear Todd,

They sure do, and it’s been an uphill battle since the beginning. My family is very conservative and traditional. I was raised with Catholic beliefs and my parents took a very strict approach towards how they raised me to view sexuality. I was taught that sex before marriage was wrong. I was taught that porn was bad.

For most of my life, I followed the typical suburban path. I graduated summa cum laude from a great university. I got a high paying corporate job and then fell victim to the mainstream rat race. So, when I uprooted myself and moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in entertainment, my folks were not particularly enthused. They didn’t like that I was leaving a life of financial success and stability to pursue the great unknown. I wasn’t about to hold myself back!

When I started writing pornography, I initially didn’t think it would turn into a full-blown career. So, at first I didn’t even tell my parents about my adult scripts. However, as things started taking off and I moved into a full-time position with New Sensations, I was left with no choice but to tell my folks. Sadly, they were extremely disappointed. They always wanted me to grow up and be a doctor or a lawyer, not a pornographer. They have strong aversions to the adult industry and the negative messages they feel it sends. Although I’ve spent time trying to dispel their misconceptions, it has been in vain.

I’ve come to accept it. Not everyone is going to support your life decisions and ultimately what is most important is believing in what you do. I believe in what I do and I love what I do. Sure, there are times when my parents’ lack of support breaks my heart. When I won my first AVN, the first person I called was my mother. She told me she didn’t want to talk about ‘porn’. On one of the most joyous days of my life, I did not have my parents’ support. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I’ve toughened up a lot since then. Honestly, as nice as it would be to have parental validation, I don’t need it in order to be happy.

Thanks for the question!

Jacky St. James
missjackystjames.com

Want to ask Jacky a question about love, sex, relationships, porn or the adult industry? Click here to submit your questions!

About The Author

Jacky St. James hails from the East Coast, graduating with a BA in Drama and Anthropology and is a multiple award winning adult writer and director for New Sensations.

She is known for a wide-range of films from romantic comedies to edgier all-sex releases with her most acclaimed titles being: Torn, The Friend Zone, Power and Control, Love is a Dangerous Game, The Submission of Emma Marx, and Dear Abby. Torn, her most successful film to date, went on to receive Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Couples’ Release, and Best Screenplay award wins during the 2012 award season.

During her career in adult, Jacky has been an advocate of couple’s-oriented pornography and has been a guest speaker at UC – Santa Barbara, UCLA, AEE, XBIZ 360 and has been featured in several popular mainstream publications including Jezebel, Slate, and the Examiner.

Jacky shares pictures, clips, and stories about her successes and debacles as a woman working within the adult industry on her website: missjackystjames.com

From? An east coast, white-bred, conservative town

Age? 36

Fav. Food? Sushi or Pizza! Although I will eat just about anything.

Fav. Alcoholic Drink? I am not a drinker, but when I do drink, it’s usually Chocolate wine!

Fav. Book? Bright Shiny Morning by James Frey. I also am a fan of We Need to Talk about Kevin, The Count of Monte Cristo, and the Complete Works of Shakespeare

Fav. Movie? It’s a toss up between Miracle (about the 1980 US Hockey team defeating the Soviets) or Shawshank Redemption (which was cinematic perfection).

One Fun Fact? I have a severe allergy to cooking. I’m working through it.

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