When, oh when, did intensely buzzy clitoral vibrators stop doing it for me? There was a time when penetration during masturbation was a luxury reserved for self-date nights. Now I’m pulling out a companion toy every time I hit the sheets. Did Rafael ruin me? Or was it Rashad? I suppose it could have been Colours, or my secret long term boyfriend I’ve yet to share.
Doc Johnson’s iVibe Select iBullet would have rocked my world back when people were still saying “rocked my world.” It’s ultra-powerful and quiet and tonight it was supposed to sweep me off my feet.
I wasn’t planning on reviewing a toy tonight. I spent most of the evening working on interview questions for an exceptionally lovely sex blogger. I guess poking around her site got me in the mood, because when I was done I stole upstairs, tip-toed to my “toys in waiting,” and carried the iBullet to bed. I tripped over a shoe and almost died, because darkness is romantic. I left the blinds open so we could revel in the moonlight.
I pushed the power button and activated the first function. It buzzed on me. It buzzed hard and well, but it didn’t buzz like it meant it. It buzzed like it was its job.
And here I’d staged moonlight and risked my life for lighting. I’d come to him spontaneously in the night, and all he offered was surface vibration?
Because the iBullet is good toy who deserves a fair shot in the spotlight, so I gave him a full minute and a half before I reached for Rafael.
(Rafael and I, by the way, have a pretty good thing going. I lust senselessly over Rashad, but Rafael has really been there for me. Maybe it’s because he’s so accommodating or perhaps it’s his coincidental position at the front of the drawer.)
Anyway, the iBullet. If you want a powerful bullet, here you go. Its teardrop shape is both aesthetically pleasing and easy (for a bullet) to hold. It features seven functions, the first three of which are steady vibration. Low was strong, medium was super strong, and high was a cosmic space blast from hell.
The thing is, I’m not that into cosmic space blasts anymore. I outgrew those in my late twenties. These days, all I want is a simple, slow encounter with a silicone, suction cup dildo or two; a pliable, beaded butt plug; and a rechargeable wand with various attachments. Let’s take it down a notch, iBullet. I’m a simple girl with simple needs.
On paper, the iBullet is a great toy. It has multiple functions, is waterproof, and comes in a fancy box. And of course, its power is off the charts. Unfortunately, it just didn’t do it for me. I loved it but I wasn’t IN love with it. It’s not him, it’s me.
As far as battery-powered micro bullets go, the iBullet is at the top of its class. I’d recommend it to anyone looking for a strong, small clitoral stimulator. His ideal match appreciates a corded remote and has a distaste for tiny batteries. She’s way into clitoral stimulation and likes mixing it up with multiple functions. She has kids and/or roommates and appreciates a soft-spoken partner. She’s probably never been romanced by Bodywand.
If this sounds like you, inquire at Taboo.
Get yours here!