There is a time for laying out your tools, and a time for getting shit done. There’s much to be said for foreplay and treating yourself right, but ducking into a bathroom is better than nothing, and when you’re half expecting a phone call and your kid may or may not be really asleep, a quick blast to the clit is in order.
There are endless options in that vein, but the iVibe Select iRocket just might be the latest and greatest. Its creator, Doc Johnson, has been manufacturing sex toys in the US for 30 years. To call them an industry leader is an understatement. I trust them like I trust my own hand.
The iVibe collection has been a customer favorite for years, but, embarrassingly enough, I’d yet to try one. Needless to say, I was over the moon when I received two from the Doc. (iBullet review coming soon!) I happened to bring home my new box of toys on an evening when my kids were particularly cranky. “Do we have any AAA’s in the fridge?” I called to my husband as he put away the slice of pizza my finicky three year old had refused to eat.
“Not in here! Don’t you have some in your purse?” Crisis averted–I did. But it was three hours later before I was able to actually load up my new vibe. “This is niiiiiiice,” I mused, holding it to my nose. Just then a kid called out because she wasn’t sleepy and/or had a stuffy nose and/or there were bugs in her bed.
By the time I was sure my children were asleep, I was exhausted and my husband was nowhere in sight. I wandered into the kitchen and held it to my nose again. (Holding a vibrator to the tip of your nose gives you a good idea of its power. Looking like you’re off your rocker is a bonus.)
It felt good, so I took it into the bathroom. I live in a four bedroom, 4500 square foot house, but I sequestered my iRocket into a four foot square bathroom and thoroughly enjoyed it there. The iRocket is a seven function vibe featuring four modes of pulsation following three levels of vibration.
It’s unlike me to rush a moment, but my time was limited, so I escalated to the most intense level of vibration pretty quickly. I scrolled through the patterns out of obligation, but, as you may know, for me, anything other than steady vibrations is best left for anal play.
Here are my immediate thoughts on the iRocket:
Sexy shape. I don’t know what it is about the curve, but I want to hold it, a lot. I just might take pictures of my hand holding it and look at them the next time I masturbate.
The cap covering the tip is modest and convenient. I will use it like I use a sunglasses case, which is basically not at all. But it will make me feel fancy, and I like feeling fancy.
The lighted power button is very Lelo-esque. High end toys have lights. Period.
The Pocket Rocket emblem threw me. Pocket Rocket is, hands down, the leading brand in clitoral stimulation. It’s like Xerox or Kleenex. But when you’ve been progressing for decades, as Doc Johnson has, it’s time to let it go.
Here are my long term thoughts on the iRocket:
I like you. I really like you. There’s something special about you that I just can’t put my finger on. Oh wait, it’s that you made me climax in four minutes in a room the size of a broom closet.
I don’t like that you require batteries, but I’m thoroughly impressed that you pack that much power with a couple of AAAs. For you, I will keep them on hand.
You remind me of a guy I used to know. You have all of his intense, rumbling vibrations, but none of his noisy rattling. I’m lookin’ at you, my beloved Pocket Rocket Plus.
The iRocket is so sleek and discreet, I’m thinking of storing it somewhere easily accessible in case of emergency. The next time you’re at my place, please pay no mind to the bulbless maglight in my junk drawer or the capped melon baller in my utensil caddy. And, by all means, don’t disturb me in the bathroom.
Get yours here!