1997 was a very good year. Clinton was elected for his second term, Comet Hale-Bopp got super-close to Earth, Southpark made it’s TV debut, and word “phat” began its slow decline into outdated slangdom.
I guess Blush Novelties didn’t get the memo, because they recently released the Phat Rabbit vibrator. Or maybe they’re enjoying fond memories. Like I said, 1997 was a very good year.
Or also, maybe they’re just accurately describing their toy. The Phat Rabbit is, of course, a rabbit style vibe, featuring bunny ears for clitoral stimulation. But in addition, it kind of is the definition of phat. It’s curvy and alluring. It’s petite, but thick. It’s a sexy, awesome, updated classic.
Aside from being wireless, it looks much like the original rabbit. Its shaft contains plastic beads that tumble and rotate, providing a unique internal sensation. At its base sits a cute, big eared bunny, controlled separately. Another nod to the classic style is that it requires batteries. Once, I swore off all battery powered vibrators, but now that my toy chest is a virtual bramble of charging cables, I honestly find the occasional battery-powered toy refreshing.
At the top of the “updated” column is the fact that’s it’s powerful as hell. The shaft operates at three different speeds and the clitoral bunny features seven patterns of vibration and pulsation. Even at its lowest settings, it blows the rabbits of the 90s out of the water. The downside is that it’s not very quiet, but if you’re under covers, it’s really not so bad.
Rabbit vibes don’t typically make my favorites list. The obvious benefit is that you get two kinds of stimulation in one toy, but I find that in order to get the clitoral vibrator where you want it, you usually have to involve your other hand anyway. For me, the Phat Rabbit was no exception.
But somehow that didn’t matter. I didn’t wait long to kick the shaft up to level three and the bunny up to two. Together they rotated, hummed, tumbled, and buzzed and I quickly lost track of what was doing what. Soon it was time for the classic rabbit’s ultimate test. Would he freeze as my muscles contracted?
He did not. Even as I squeezed the ever-loving life out of him, he kept squirming, and the result was so overwhelmingly pleasing it was an honest-to-god struggle to turn him off. (You do this, by the way, by holding each of the power buttons for a couple of seconds. When you’re not sure where the vibration is coming from and you’re in the middle of orgasm-induced madness, that’s easier said than done.)
So, I guess I’ve found him. Again. The fresh, classic toy that hits all the right spots and brings me home. If you’re searching for the hot new thing, see me about the G-Vibe, G-Motion, or Maro Kawaii. If you prefer tried and true with an extra dose of excitement, the Phat Rabbit is for you.
Get yours here!