Happy Holidays, folks. I, personally, am not one for Christmas. Just seems like too much work for nothing, but that’s just me. This year, however, I changed my tune. Sandy Claws stopped by my house early this year, and instead of the usual lump of coal, he gave me a surprise. Yeah, Old Saint Dick really topped himself this year. Much to my delight; in my stocking was an exclusive sneak peek at Burning Angel’s new release “How The Grinch Gaped Christmas”. Now, I could be like our friend the Grinch, here; or I could share the wealth with you all. Come on now, you should know me better than that.
What we have here is a fantastic X-rated homage to the timeless holiday classic. Who out there didn’t sit on the living room floor as a child with eyes glued to the boob tube watching as the mean old Grinch attempt to ruin the festivities for the poor Whos? That’s right, we all did. Now as adults we can skip the cartoon and watch the sexy Grinch attempt to ruin the holiday for the Whores. That’s right my friends, the lovely Joanna Angel dresses herself in green and wrecks havoc on the town of Whoreville. What’s that you ask? Is the story still in rhyme? Come now, folks. What kind of parody would this be if it wasn’t? The sultry Grinch beats up carolers and steals from the Whores only to watch them screw in the name of holiday cheer. Will the Grinch see the error of her ways and spread her legs with the Christmas spirit?
I gotta tell you, if you appreciate the work that Burning Angel puts out, you are going to love this. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry (cause you were laughing), you’ll shoot your load on your screen. When can you get your horny little mitts on this excellent piece of cinema? Well folks, there will be a nicely packaged DVD available in the Burning Angel Store in the not too distant future, but; on December 25th, thats’ right, on Christmas, Burning Angel will release the first “episode” on their site. Wait, what did you say? You’re not a member? My response to that is, “what the fuck is wrong with you”?
So, you know that credit gift card you got at work’s secret Santa from the prude secretary who didn’t know what to get you. Use that to get your self a membership (you can thank her later). Or, that credit gift card you got for your annoying nephew that you really don’t even like. Forget him, what’s he gonna do, go buy candy and action figures? His teeth are already rotten and he never plays with the toys he already has. Keep it for yourself and get a membership. It’s the holidays, so do something nice for yourself. Then on Christmas, instead of hanging out with your obnoxious in-laws, hang out in front of your computer and watch “How The Grinch Gaped Christmas”. You know that’s where I’ll be.