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iSex Bullet – Pipedream

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When I first saw Pipedream’s iSex series, I knew the future was now. Here were the dead giveaways:

  • Clean, white packaging
  • A lowercase letter i
  • USB = computers = future

You really don’t see many USB toys, so for maybe too long of a moment, I mistook this for a hot new technological development. Then I remembered that USB powered toys are sort of the 8-tracks of sex toys–a revolutionary idea that almost instantly became obsolete. As the cassette tape did to the 8-track, so rechargeable toys did to USB. Why use a toy that’s tethered to a computer when you could use your computer to power it up and then move around the house with it?

So glad you asked.

  • USB powered toys do not weaken. At all. Ever.
  • You’re in no danger of losing the cable
  • They’re a hell of a lot more affordable
  • And, finally, USB = computers = future

There are other reasons you should chose a USB toy, and they’re advertised right on the box. They’re apparently “great for college students, long-distance video chats, solo stroking sessions, office rendezvous, and road trips.” Suddenly I feel like a techy office type and wild road tripping college kid all in one. The role play possibilities are endless!

There are nine iSex products in total. Some I can get behind more than others. The Bullet, of course, is a no brainer. Bullets are a toy box staple. They’re easy to handle and are great on the go.

The Luv Ring, on the other hand, left me a bit stumped. The primary purpose of a vibrating cock ring is to be worn during sex. Having sex while connected to a computer seems like it would offer senseless complications, even if it’s also the most futurotic thing ever.

Given the clean, white packaging and lower case letter i, I expected I’d need to read instructions before operating the iSex Bullet. Not so. I plugged it into my computer and it started vibrating. Intensely vibrating. Alarmingly, wonderfully, intensely vibrating.

The iSex Bullet does not offer multiple speeds. There is no pulsation, undulation, rolling vibration, or oscillation. It does what a bullet’s supposed to, and vibrates the crap out of your clit.

Of course, the obvious accompaniment is internet porn or a DVD on your computer, but don’t forget, you can also plug it into a wall wart. Suddenly it’s the electrical toy of the 21st century! The future is now!

And the point is this: The iSex Bullet is a powerful clitoral stimulator that does not require batteries or lose its charge. It’s discreet and inexpensive and there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t keep one in your desk drawer. I have three desks, so I’ll be purchasing two more. It just makes sense, and I’ll be grateful come my next office rendezvous.

Get yours here!

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