Ultimate Couples' Cage
Dual Bullets for internal and external stimulation, soft and stretchy ring
Last weekend, Taboo was fortunate enough to be joined at our Valentine’s Day Brunch by a representative from Pipedream Products. Jesus brought with him a of ton of toys and introduced attendees to a wide range of romantic activities. Among his suggestions was Pipedream’s C-Ringz line, an impressive comprehensive collection of penis enhancement products. As he showed the Twin Teazer Rabbit Ring and Ride N Glide, my thoughts drifted to the times I’ve shared with my favorite imaginary porn star boyfriend. It’d been a while since I dressed Mr. Marcus’s cock in something purple and vibrating, and Valentine’s Day seemed the perfect occasion.
My C-Ringz numero three is called the Ultimate Couples Cage. Romantic, yes? This one features a softly ribbed clitoral stimulator atop the standard ring BUT ALSO a second ring that fits an inch or two farther down the shaft. What joins them? A similarly ribbed vibrating hump, intended for penetration!
Like the Twin Teazer, the Ultimate Couples Cage features dual vibrating bullets. In fact, they’re the very same vibrating bullets, which I found plenty powerful in the Rabbit. Levels one through three are steady vibration and the bullets pulsate on four and five.
The first bullet fits inside the clitoral stimulator as you’d expect. The second one straight up nestles inside the hump. Tucking it into its silicone slot felt like tucking a woodland creature into a sleeping bag on a pleasantly nippy night. I made an exclamation of “wow!” or “adorable!” or more likely “that’s bananas!” I don’t remember what I said, just that I said it aloud, by myself.
Of course, when your penis of choice boasts vibration of its own, you don’t necessarily NEED a cock ring with vibration that extends to its shaft. Rather test my toy on an actual penis, I removed the batteries from Mr. Marcus before I strapped the Ultimate Couples Cage on.
It looked good on him. It also looked like those balls might present a problem. Mr. Marcus is well-endowed and his vibrator’s balls, immoveable and solid as they are, don’t accommodate a cock ring that demands penetration to the hilt. However, I’ve never been one to turn down a pretty nine and a half inch challenge. To the bed, we retired.
But yeah, it didn’t work. More accurately, I wasn’t able to take in the full experience. Our issues were strictly logistic and not the fault of the individual toys. Mr. Marcus, I regret that I was unfaithful, but I moved the Couples Cage to someone else.
On ball-less Alan, the Couples Cage had its day in the sun. I slid the ring to a place where I was completely comfortable inserting the vibrating hump. I found, of course, that when the hump penetrated, the clitoral stimulator wasn’t where I wanted it. In a couples’ toy, however, this isn’t a problem. Because you’re in constant motion with your partner, half the fun is finding where the vibration falls. The other half is grinding on it.
I dig the Ultimate Couples Cage. The more C-Ringz I enjoy, the more excited I become about the entire line. While I wasn’t able to make the most of it with my ideal synthetic partner, you will surely love it with your live one.
I’ll leave you with a picture of one of our lovely Valentine’s Day Brunch guests handcuffing Pipedream rep, Jesus and strapping a vibrator to his leg. Because that’s just how we roll. Get your Ultimate Couples Cage here and stay tuned for Marcus’s and my fourth and final C-Ringz chapter!