You know what’s more exciting than receiving a free dildo in the mail? Receiving two free dildos in the mail. You know what’s more exciting than receiving two free dildos in the mail? Receiving two free Tantus dildos in the mail. You know what’s more exciting than receiving two free Tantus dildos in the mail? Receiving two free UNCUT Tantus dildos in the mail. Why does uncut make them more exciting? I DON’T KNOW! But it truly does.
Maybe it’s because I didn’t already have any uncut dildos. I’d love to lie and tell my new Tantus boyfriends they’re the first, but I’ve had one uncircumcised dildo before. I barely remember him, if that makes you feel better, Rafael and Rashad. He wasn’t the right size for me and he came with this embarrassing cord….
Rafael and Rashad, if you hadn’t guessed, are the names I gave my new Tantus Uncut dildos. A few months ago I bought a sexy new car and christened him Rafael Rashad. The names just transferred too easily to my dildos, who, by the way, I named for your convenience and not because I attach personalities to inanimate sex objects. Ahem.
Our romance began even before the Uncut Dildos became available to retailers. I caught wind of their release and emailed my good buddy, Alex at Tantus and asked if I might try one. He said, “I’ll send two.” I said, “you are now my good buddy.”
While I patiently awaited them, I sent my employees texts like these:
They arrived in a little over a week, but in the meantime, the stores got their first shipments. I gazed at them longingly. I even took one out of the box and fondled it guiltily. One of my employees suggested I just take that one home, but at that, I balked. I would wait for MINE.
I’ll spare you the embarrassing long lost lovers running towards each other at an airport scenario that occurred when the UPS man delivered R&R to my door. You only care about what went on in the bedroom anyway, you pervs.
The Tantus Uncut Didlos come in two sizes and three shades. Uncut 1 is the fellow I call Rashad. He’s 7.45″ insertable and 1.45″ in diameter, making him .15″ wider and 1″ longer than Rafael, otherwise known as Uncut 2. Both are part of Tantus’ Dual Density O2 line which features super soft silicone encasing firms cores. This ensures the toys are solid and stiff but realistic and comfortable. Like all Tantus products, they’re made of 100% premium silicone and are hypoallergenic and eco-friendly.
I considered trying my Uncut Dildos on back to back nights, like I did with the Tantus Perfect Plugs. However, I really wanted to accurately compare them to each other and, if I’m honest, was craving a dildo menage-a-trois. (Menage-a-dildo? Dildo-a-trois?) So I took both Rafael and Rashad to bed.
It was a little awkward at first, but it didn’t take us long to get into the swing of things. Rashad understood that it made sense for the smaller Rafael to go first and they turned out to be quite good at taking turns. I expected I’d prefer Rashad, but Rafael and I experienced an intimacy I was not prepared for. They felt surprisingly different from each other, but I’m not just trying to keep two dudes on the hook when I say I didn’t prefer one over the other. I shared my big finish with Rashad, because, well, of course I did, but I genuinely and thoroughly enjoyed them both.
I’m pretty thrilled that one of my favorite dildo manufacturers is now representing uncircumcised men. I personally couldn’t care less if a man is circumcised or not, but I never like to see a penis excluded. The Uncut Dildos didn’t feel particularly different from many cut dongs, but why should they? They’re beautifully and realistically crafted and, like all Tantus products, of superior quality. They’re a valuable and exciting addition to my collection, and I can’t wait to “see” them again.