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WOW Wonder Wabbit – Pipedream

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On the eve of my third WOW, I drew a bath. I threw into it all manner of sudsy bubbles and scented salts. I settled in with a glass of wine and a good book. My freshly charged WOW Wonder Wabbit looked on from the ledge.

A couple of pages and a few sips in, it hit me that my bunny–I mean “Wabbit”–really should join me. He’s waterproof, after all, and I could use the company. Besides, a responsible reviewer tests the toy from all angles, and ability to swim, or at least not burn out and drown, is a major selling point of the WOW Wonder Wabbit.

I tossed him in. Then panicked. I’d forgotten to secure the silicone tab into his charging port. I fished him out, stopped just short of performing mouth to mouth, and tried to seal his Achilles Heel.

It was not easy. It was maybe impossible. I tried to fit that tiny tab into that tiny hole for what felt like forever, until I finally decided that no customer of mine should have to go through such bathtime agony, and I should let him sink or swim, tab out.

He floated around my tub for a few minutes more. Every time I peeked at him, I was pleased to find him butt up, charging point not submerged. But I grew paranoid. What if water seeped in and he died before I had a chance to experience him? That would not only ruin my night, it could perhaps unfairly turn millions off of perfectly good dry-land toy.

I fished him out yet again.

I finished my chapter and my glass. Then I snatched him up, guided him under, closed my eyes, and thought about a dad from a certain Pampers commercial. Don’t judge me–this is where I am right now.

Level one was powerful. I thought it might be all I needed, but it then it also seemed like not enough. I kicked it up to level two, which turned out to be crazy intense. Three was just uncomfortable, and the remaining pulsation patterns were, per usual, not for me.

In the end, I finished right back at level one. If you’re power-hungry when it comes to vibrators, you might love the WOW toys. For me (by no means a vibration lightweight) some of them are a bit too much. The “Japanese motor” proudly advertised on their packaging can feel a bit buzzy.

With phase one of my experiment complete, I carried my Wabbit to the bathroom sink. After quite a bit of trial and error, a candle holder/glass bowl combination succeeded in keeping him submerged. I blew him a kiss, took a photo for kicks, and left him alone.

For an hour.

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I hate to sound pessimistic, but I really didn’t expect him to work when I returned. I crept into the bathroom and peeked at the sink with the sick nervousness I get when checking on a mousetrap. I removed the bowl and the candle holder, cupped him in both hands and pressed his belly. I’ll be damned if he didn’t spring instantly to life.

I was so impressed and grateful, I felt like taking back all of the bad things I’d said about him. “Too much?” Nonsense. “Buzzy?” Please. What a trooper the Wonder Wabbit is, and how far technology has come!

I could go on, and would have, had I not decided to give him buzzy butt one last go before finishing this review. I guess it took 48 hours for the water to get to his brain, because he’s dead as a doornail tonight. He’s been on the charger for about half an hour, and all I’m getting is the weak, red light of surrender.

Now that you’ve sat through the long, here’s the short of it: The WOW Wonder Wabbit is an extremely powerful, rechargeable, quiet, high end toy. If you like powerful clitoral stimulation, you will like it. If you like multiple functions and patterns of vibration, you will like it.

If you enjoy subtler, deeper vibrations or you want a toy that enjoys long soaks in the tub, this isn’t the Wabbit for you. Please remember, however, that I deliberately drowned this toy. I kept him submerged for quite a long time with his charging port exposed. A waterproof toy is only waterproof when its port is protected. If it had been easier to protect, we probably wouldn’t have had any problems. (Yes, I’m blaming the victim.)

I will miss the Wonder Wabbit. Had we kept our relationship non-aquatic, we could have been something. A casual something with a third party tempering the crazy, but something none-the-less.

Get yours here!

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